by John Wilcock

“It’s all well and good to sit around and make fun of the funny things that conservatives say and the hilarious gaffes that they make, but one of the only reasons that it works is that Democrats let it happen. They never seem to be able to fight back, never seem to be able to figure it out. They really cannot talk about the philosophy that motivates their actions and their legislative deeds.”
— Author Thomas Frank talking to The Progressive about the lack of challenge to conservative dreams of an “unshackled” business class

WEALTHY CHINESE are getting used to being fawned over, claims the Economist, which cites the way that holders of gold and platinum “routinely expect luxury shops to pamper them with cocktails, massages….and ever more exotic and exclusive events to maintain their sense of superiority.”

Hong Kong’s Chow Tai Fook (CTF), the world’s largest jeweler, recently organized a weekend of cruises, property tours, and a gala auction for wealthy families who spent more than an annual 1m yuan ($158,000). But for such super-rich Chinese, a lavish weekend is not enough, explains Adrian Cheng, a CTF director. They also expect a personal butler to fetch them and fuss over them.

Another market worth $multi-billions is cosmetic surgery which has ballooned due to China’s growing wealth and obsession with the celebrity culture. Double eyelid surgery, liposuction, and nose jobs are reported to be the most common procedures at People’s Ninth Hospital in Shanghai which conducted 50,000 operations last year. The eyelid operation costs 6,000yuan ($950), a nose enlargement 3,500 yuan. Some plastic surgeons have called for the imposition of higher standards after 20,000 complaints about last year’s surgeries.

IN ITS ISSUE devoted to celebrity investors, Forbes featured Justin Bieber, Venture Capitalist, as its cover story. The young singer’s 15 million albums have grossed $150m during his 157 cross-country tour dates, the mag reveals, and has plowed millions into tech start-ups. He has partnered with Ellen DeGeneres in a social gaming company, Sojo Studios; and shared deals with billionaire Ron Burkle and Ashton Kutcher, his typical initial investment being $250,000. About his ongoing transition from ‘teen idol to adult icon’ he says: “It’s not really a transition, it’s just opening doors. I’m trying to make music that’s a little bit more mature and that can appeal to all ages, and I’m not trying to lose my younger fans.”

SHARK TANK, the ABC reality show that invites inventors to air their ideas before a panel of potential investors, has heard 152 pitches from entrepreneurs since its 2009 debut, about half of which have walked away with an average of $180,000. So says Inc. which unfolds the tale of Pork Barrel BBQ which rocketed from sales of $5,000 to $3 million, and from four outlets to 5,000 stores, after its debut on the sixth episode of the show. Among the 60 businesses (out of 20,000 that apply each season) the mag lists Citikitty, a toilet-training system for cats, which tripled its sales to $1million within a year.

SHIPPING FRESH VEGETABLES across country results in a lot of spoilage and Paul Lightfoot thinks there’s a better way. His company, BrightFarms, is right in line with the locavores who believe the food we eat should come from nearer to home, and how much nearer can you get, Lightfoot asks, than from a nearby roof? BrightFarms has deals with several companies to build and manage hydroponic greenhouses on store rooftops, parking garages, and empty lots. Stores sign long-term contracts to buy lettuce, tomatoes, and various herbs, with a guarantee that prices will never rise above inflation.

A NATIONAL ID CARD has always filled some people with paranoia, conjuring up images of a police state or at least “an intolerable expansion of government,” as the Tea Party might term it. But now its time has come, suggests a writer in Mother Jones, capping a 20-page section about the influx of money into elections and its connection with voter fraud. Most European countries provide citizen ID cards, the mag says, quoting a native of Singapore who boasts that his card doubles as a library card, serves as identification when applying for overseas visas, opening a bank account, and even helps identify the other party in an accident. Social security cards and drivers licenses already enable the government to track us, but we seem content with “a system with all the downsides and none of the upside of true national ID.”

ITALIAN COMIC Beppe Gallo, 63, is making waves by calling for the Euro to be abolished, people to stop paying taxes, and for banks to be allowed to go bust. Rome’s L’Espresso reports that while performing in public squares, he’s been calling retired premier Silvio Berlusconi “a sex-mad psycho dwarf” and his petition for a clean-up of parliament garnered 350,000 votes. Next year he’s predicted to enter the political arena.

THERE’S WIDE DISAGREEMENT between some of the vintage TV stars of the 1970s and the studios who don’t agree with how valuable they think they are. What it’s all about, says Variety columnist Ted Johnson, is merchandise revenue. “Cast members, noting the continued visibility of their shows on everything from slot machines to action figures to, of course, DVD box sets, are pursuing legal action against studios, often claiming the latter are concealing the amount they’ve made off the actors’ likenesses …studios (on the other hand) view many of the plaintiffs’ assertions about merchandising revenue as wildly overstated” Johnson writes. Two of last year’s suits involved Mike Connors from Mannix and James Best on Dukes of Hazzard.

POWERED BY AN ADULT (for steering and safety) and up to ten children pedaling, the Dutch company De Café Racer says its kid-powered bicycle is an efficient replacement for the regular school bus. It can reach 10mph and comes with canvas cover for rainy days, a music system, and an auxiliary electric motor for when the hills are too steep for pedal power.

THE WILCOCK WEB: Perhaps the highly paid office workers at Dunder Mifflin might consider bailing out a bankrupt Scranton?….. Uruguay is about to pass a bill legalizing the sale of marihuana. Defense Minister Eleuterio Fernandez Huidobro says: “We believe that the prohibition of certain drugs is creating more problems than the drugs themselves”… Religious leaders and art historians will share the platform at the Getty Museum next month to discuss ‘What Does Heaven Look Like?’…. Asked by a TV interviewer in China what she wanted to be when she grew up, one six-year-old replied: “A corrupt official”……Why should Ralph Lauren be hired to make uniforms for the next Olympics when their greed screwed us up so badly on this one?…. Too many hapless farm animals are being forsaken by clueless city dwellers who thoughtlessly adopt them and then, for one reason or another, change their minds. E-magazine requests that if metropolitan homesteaders must have pets, they should pick them from local shelters….“Computers make it easier to do a lot of things,” mused the late Andy Rooney, “but many of the things they make it easier to do, don’t need to be done”.….There’s nearly always drought in one place with floods in another. Maybe those fire-fighting planes could carry water a bit further?….Hollywood claims that Morgan Spurlock financing his movie (Pom Wonderful Presents the Greatest Movie Ever Sold) entirely from sponsorships has become a necessary part of doing business because ticket sales no longer are sufficient……. After noting that too many employees pee on the seat, councillors at Sörmland, Sweden, seek to make it mandatory for men to sit down when using the toilet……And Comedy Central features a disgusting, would-be comic named Tosho-o whose idea of hilarity is to show video of guys lowering their pants and shitting as they skateboard or roller skate…..Hedge fund manager Daniel Shak is suing his ex-wife Beth for 35% of her valuable shoe collection (1,200 pairs) which he claims she hid away during their divorce settlement…. An unexpected shift back towards the use of straight razors caused Gillette’s share of the market for replacement cartridge blades to drop to a mere 80%, prompting the company to advertise that its blades lasted for up to five weeks, observed Fortune… “Creativity is intelligence having fun,” opined Albert Einstein….. Spurred by Mitt Romney’s plans to install a car elevator in his La Jolla beach house, numerous “billionaires and A-list celebrities” have forked over $55,000 to American Custom Lifts to install similar elevators in what Forbes describes as their modern palaces….“It is not an exaggeration to say that every rhino on the planet is now in mortal danger,” warns a South African conservationist after reports that an average of 50 of the rare species a month are being killed in the country…. The Louisiana State Board of Embalmers and Funeral Directors, fighting to retain a monopoly over the building of coffins, is being sued by the monks of St. Joseph Abbey who want to build their own….. “Five enemies of peace inhabit with us: avarice, ambition, envy, anger, and pride; if these were to be banished, we should infallibly enjoy perpetual peace.” — Francesco Petrarch (July 20, 1304 – July 19, 1374)